So I don’t talk to my neighbors, mainly due to the language barrier, but there is one guy downstairs from me who I’ve been on relatively friendly terms with since I moved in. He goes by the name
So the other day I am getting out of my car with grocery bags and he accosts me on the stairs saying rather abruptly, “I need tot talk to you guy. I’ll be in your apartment in 10 minutes”. He then ran back into his apartment and I heard the door lock behind him. I was nervous that maybe he was pissed about something or even worse; wanted me to look after his dog for a weekend. 10 minutes later he’s wandering around my apartment shoeless and smelling like a rotten pipe. He makes idle comments about everything in the open and then gets to the point. “Hey guy, I know you are an artist. I look at your paintings through your blinds at night when I walk Boomer. I picked this up at a junk shop,” at which point he presents me with a small, battered canvas that smells like a truck stop bathroom, that has a picture of a woman’s face next to a jaguar that is roaring and pawing at what looks to be a sunset with a palm tree on it. Basically it looks like the kind of retro crap a 60’s porno director would have hanging in his shag carpeted lounge.
He continues, “I wanted to know if you paint me a picture on this, though it is a shame to paint over it. My daughter thinks it’s a crime to ruin the artist’s work!” I offer to use a small leftover canvas I had under my futon 1)to be nice and 2) because I don’t want that moldy piece of crap in my apartment any longer than I want this guy’s manky feet trodding allover my carpet. He presents me with a picture of Betty Pepper, a pinup girl used in old Dr. Pepper billboards. The photo (which also smells like a dead cat) has
So now I’m stuck painting a boobjob on a vintage Dr. Pepper billboard or a crazy old man who lives downstairs. Not exactly news, but bizarre enough to share. I need to learn to say no to people. Hopefully my new neighbors will be a little more…well not this guy.
UPDATE: He's a poorly shot picture. So it turns out she’s ‘Peggy Pepper’ and I had the name wrong. And the building he’s standing in front of in the picture he left me is the Dr. Pepper factory in