Sideburns apparently equal maturity. Since deciding to grow sideburns about a month ago, I have only been carded once down here when going out for a drink. I’ve actually sat with people older than me who have been carded and not been asked myself. I’ve had my dances with ‘burns in the past, primarily during my ‘lets see how much facial hair I can really grow’-phase (middle school) but lopped them of early High School. Now they are back and in full force. No chops or crazy wings on the side of my face, just your standard trimmed sideburn affair.I don’t blame my perceived maturity entirely on the sideburns (though I think they are a big part of the equation). I have also been wearing dress kakis, button up shirts and collared polo, as part of the company dress code, and have often gone out right after work. Maybe that’s it? Or maybe facial hair really does have magical properties.